Marriage – The Kiss of Life…or the World’s Greatest Trap?

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“Where there is love there is life.”
~ Mahatma Gandhi

Yesterday + Today…

Today is one of my brothers’ wedding anniversary – if I’m not mistaken, 22 years of marriage! Not only 22 years of marriage, but 3 boys, a home and a foundation built upon love, honor, trust and friendship. For me to see (and in a manner of speaking, experience) their union is major, and very inspiring! I was very young when my brother met his now wife, and even then I remember the change in him. Before he said anything, I KNEW that she was the one!

The Back Story…

Hearing about my parents’ relationship throughout the years has left me with mixed feelings about marriage. It’s not that I don’t want to be married per se, it’s just that I’ve seen enough marital strife to make me very wary of leaping into the institution of marriage.

As a little girl, I always wanted to have the picture perfect family {I blame this on my love of the Little House on the Prairie + Hardy Boy Mystery books}. I don’t have any recollection of my Father being at home, but we went to the same church so I always saw him there, and of course on our annual sojourns: February = A Fannie May Heart Shaped Box of Candy; Summer = Great America; Fall = Barnum Bailey Circus; Winter = Christmas Present(s). I also remember that my Mother never stopped loving my Father, and I recall realizing that his absence had profoundly affected my brothers.

I never really realized the effect that the tales of my parents’ relationship had on me until I began dating as an adult. I’m afraid to get close…fearful of putting my everything into a relationship and having it fail…scared that the man that I trust will betray me by sleeping with/leaving to be with someone else. That’s what my Father did, and he did it for all to see… If he could do that, why wouldn’t other men be the same way? Not only that, but I am very much my Mother’s daughter – I love hard and for the most part, forever. I’m not sure that my heart could take the trauma of such betrayal.

But is that fair? Just become some men are weak doesn’t mean that every dude will cheat.

The Now…

Over the past 5 or so years, I’ve seen many couples that made marriage look enviable, and quite a few marriages that made me thankful that I am still single. Ultimately, I get that marriage is what you make it. Literally, you have to work every single day to keep a marriage strong. The Kiss of Life can just as easily become the Kiss of Doom if both parties don’t put in the effort to stay connected. It’s crazy how just one bad decision can begin the slow (or fast) demise of a marriage.

And so I salute those of you that have taken a leap of faith by committing your life to another individual! Marriage is not a trap, unless you/your spouse choose to make it one…

Confessions of A Natural Girl…

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Natural Girl Confession.

Sometimes I think that I made a mistake. If so, it’s the 3rd (hmmm, maybe 4th time) that I’ve made it…

Natural Virgin.
The first time that I “went natural” had nothing to do with a craze, nor was I trying to get back to my cultural roots. For whatever reason, I decided that my hair simply did not require a perm. A few Sorors (they weren’t at the time), quickly rebuked that notion and before I knew it, my hair was silky smooth and straight.

Second Base.
Fast forward however many years and I met this awesome stylist (she’s actually my current stylist), and during one of our many hairversations, she said that my hair really didn’t need a relaxer. We started off with a texturizer regimen, and before I knew it we were at no relaxer at all. My hair was healthy, and I don’t really recall what made me go back…

Third Time is the Charm?
I saw more than one image of natural hair chicks with beautiful, thick two-strand twists. YES! Now is the time to try again, and this time is it… And just like that, once again my hair was flourishing! Blondes, reds, coppers – hell, I could dye my hair martian green if I wanted to (okay, maybe not that far), and because it’s not relaxed I got/get to experiment with DELICIOUS, vibrant colors.

There’s just one nagging problem – my hair is not super thick (it’s actually quite fine in texture), so those gorgeous thick two-strand twists that I’ve been lusting after since well…forever – – – NEVER EVER going to happen. Most of the styles that I LOVE require hair with a more thick, and in some instances, coarse texture that I just don’t have, and never will.

And so here I sit, with my 2-day old twist out (that looks AMAZEBALLS by the way), and I realize that at some point I have got to learn to accept this crown of glory for what it is.

Seems like there’s a life lesson in there somewhere…

Quote of the Day: Comfort vs Passion (Khalil Gibran)

 The lust for comfort murders the passions of the soul.” 

~ Khalil Gibran

 

Wow, does it ever!  We get so settled…so content with the mundane that we forget to reach outside of ourselves!  A life filled with passion is paramount; it’s okay to be comfortable, but we should always be reaching to be our best (and trust me, there’s room for improvement each and every day)!

Pressure…

Good Day, My Friends!

I am so sorry that so much time has passed between my last post and this one. I’ve been swamped at the J-O-B, and it’s been difficult to find time to do the things that bring me the most joy (like writing). Never fear, I’m back. I’m still stressed, but I’m going to share a quote with you today that is WAY too thought-provoking for me to not share. Have a great day!

With joy,
Kimmie